My Rules for Life
A guide to the principles that I use to govern my life
Within the past year, it has come to my attention that I am autistic. I exhibit many of the classic autistic traits and they explain the vast number of difficulties I’ve had in my life. However, it has lent to me developing a very deep and nuanced self of right and wrong, increased my empathy, and instilled an almost compulsive adherence to rules (as long as they’re reasonable and sensible. Otherwise, I completely ignore them).
Over the years, I have had experiences that have influenced my personal code of ethics, morals, and values. They’ve served me well in parsing out the rampant bullshit that existence has to offer. This list will give you, the readers, a better glimpse at my inner self and hopefully you will agree with many of these.
I generally try to do things that will benefit the most people, not just myself. A rising tide lifts all ships. I’m aware that we live in a global community and things that happen on the other side of the world can affect my life and vice versa.
I always stand behind the oppressed. I have a deep distrust of authority and anyone who exerts their power over another group of people to harm them have earned me as an enemy.
I do not trust the overly righteous, overly pious, or the overly happy. The reason they are that way is because they are hiding something. The overly righteous are usually guilty of the very thing they rail against. The overly pious use religion as a shield to deflect blame when they commit heinous acts upon others. And the overly happy are overcompensating for the dark thoughts and acts they commit in private.
I vehemently reject magical thinking. I dismiss claims made with magical thinking as total bunk. It is completely without reason or rational thought. Magical thinking only assuages the fear of those who practice it, giving them a false sense of control over things they really can’t control.
In the same vein, I reject all forms of religion. From Christianity to wicca, I consider religion to be a harmful force upon otherwise reasonable humans. Religion encourages ignorance, reliance on a deity to control one’s life instead of taking responsibility for one’s own choices and actions, and it rejects all forms of logic, reason, and scientific inquiry. It also instills fear into its followers for monetary gain and political influence.
I let logic and reason to be my guides, but use emotion to temper them. Oftentimes, the logical answer to something is very emotionally harmful to some, so keeping in mind the emotional impact of a solution prevents harm and misunderstanding. This, I feel, is the biggest problem for science communicators who do not see those who are religious as being intelligent. They often condescend to and insult them, which simply drives them from ever listening to the communicators ever again.
I do my best to listen to those who do not have the privileges I do. I, being a cis, white male, have enormous privilege and I strive to use it to lift up those who don’t so they can be heard and seen.
I do my best to treat everyone the same even when I don’t agree with their morals and values. However, if they step out of line, I will correct them. I understand that some people did not have access to education or were exposed to cultures and groups outside of their own. Regardless, I will criticize them when they lean into being bigots. Willful ignorance, however, will be met with violent disdain and a general disrespect for the ignorant individual.
I accept the duality of humanity. I understand that any person is capable of great and terrible things at the same time. Even with that said, those who harm others deserve to be punished and their behavior should be called out whenever possible. I think treating those people who take their punishment and work on becoming better people deserve our patience and empathy. Those who refuse to learn should not be eliminated, however. They simply shouldn’t be listened to or given a platform ever again.
I will follow rules to the letter as long as they reasonable and have a tangible purpose. Rules made for the sake of exerting control and not for a good reason will be completely disregarded.
I do my best to live by these rules, but I also accept that I am human and am flawed. I treat myself with the same energy I treat others with when I screw up. But instead of wallowing in self pity, I do my best to be better the next time. I’ve grown a lot since my teens and 20s, and I’m proud of the person I’ve become.